THIRST | 2Skyfe

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THIRST | 2Skyfe
Jul 7th 2012, 14:32

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There is an incredible phenomenon that has been plaguing social networking sites. This phenomenon is called "thirst". It does not discriminate, but it is curable. I'm a success story after several rounds of rehab. I'll use myself as a case study.

When I created a facebook account, the primary objective was to keep in touch with high school and church mates (yes, I used to be a Christian once upon a time). So ja it started with ten friends, then a hundred, then five hundred. I think I'm sitting on 800 or so right now and I probably only actually know a quarter of those people.

Anyway. Once I had sort of 300 friends, I started noticing that some were quite hot and interesting. These are the earliest symptoms of thirst. It began with photo comments, then wall posts and finally the private inbox where nobody could witness my slutty ways. Back then I was still trying to decide whether I preferred pussy over penis, so anyone was fair game. I met a lot of people who were willing to let me into their undies and bras. And all I had to do was log on. Imagine.

Then I got over facebook when I met my then steady girlfriend and decided to slow down. Twitter was the new business. I created my page and spent most of the time taking part in fun trending topics and celebrity bullying. Until, once again, I started noticing that some "tweeps" were hotter and more fun than others.

After some time though, I realised that some people took twitter thirst seriously. Like niggas would be DMing on some "why are you flirting with so-and-so" or "kanti wena are you single or what". I slowed down then, took chill time off twitter. I'm so happy I did that. There is nothing that sickens me more than thirst. And now sadly, it is also poisoning my BBM. I give people my pin so that when I'm in their hood we can wisa some beers. What do people do? They send me pictures of their kuntaras, knowing full well that I am not available.

It's actually become worse now that it's colder. And I know it's happy days for my legion of whores, all they have to do is update "my punani is cold" or "looking for a muffin to butter" and they get sorted. Kudos for you, but fucken ask me whether I want to see your nasty little pork sword before you just send it to me gaad flip it. Those culprits who were deleted off my contact list, shame on you. Stop that shit.


Mimzy

Loving the Psychloan

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